Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Cleansing & Are We Moving Forward or Backward?

And so it goes... the healing process.  I know it well.  I have been here before, and yet I still go through the process of fear, uncertainty and doubt.  The symptoms of die-off and cleansing flare and settle in an almost predictable pattern.  My face is breaking out.  This is the number one tell of what my body is doing.  Normally I have very clear skin without any redness,puffiness, bumps, spots or irritation.  If I eat non-organic animal products (it's usually an "all natural" cheese) then I wind up with breakouts.  It is the same when I begin cleansing the things that my body will hold onto but are not intended to be there... pesticides, antibiotics, artificial hormones, aluminum, bpa, excess levels of copper, nickle, mercury, etc.  It's all in there.  It's difficult to avoid almost daily dosing of such things in our modern world, but especially in our  modern diet.  Once they're in there, if we don't flush them out, they will start to build up and cause imbalances in our bodies.  This equates to symptoms physical and mental.
Our bodies are created to be able to cleanse and flush toxins out.  Healing is an important facet of survival.  It's necessary.  Imagine if we couldn't heal from a cut, a bruise... imagine if something was in the way of that healing... a constant reopening of a wound or physical barrier to it's closure.  Then we'd be in for a world of other problems... problems that would begin to spread to other parts of our bodies causing a chain reaction.   Thankfully our bodies are intelligent.  The body, given the opportunity, will heal itself.   As with a wound, the first process is to clean it out.  Make sure there's nothing in there that can cause illness or slow the healing process.  Our bodies are well equipped to cleanse through intended passageways... our liver, kidneys, even our skin is created to allow the safe outward passage of the things that are not there to make it stronger, but often times in this heavily polluted world where "everything is going to kill you" those passageways get clogged up and stuck like a jammed up turnpike.  Everyone's trying to get somewhere, nobody's getting anywhere and a few are starting to make dangerous and strange escape attempts to find another route.  It's those escapists, the overflow, that starts to cause real noticeable, dangerous problems. It is exactly the same in our bodies.
This process of healing myself begins with that opening up of passageways.  I stop adding to the problem.  I open up the exit routes, and then work toward loosening up anything that is stuck.  I talked in a previous post about things that I was cutting out.  Years ago I cut out food that wasn't labeled organic.  Then I cut out ingredients that weren't specifically labeled as organic, since then I have been working to eliminate processed foods altogether.  It's carries a real learning curve, and I am a big believer in baby steps, so long as I continue to take steps in the right direction.

"The Right Direction" is where I get hung up sometimes.  Because the very first step, that cleaning out step, feels like it's going in the wrong direction.  It feels like getting sicker.  It looks like a bunch of new symptoms.  Then to compound the issue the dislodging/cleansing process also routinely dislodges emotional/mental muck.  Age old pain, hurts, wrongs, traumas, angers, loss... these come up, requiring my attention, but more importantly my understanding.  It is one thing to relive something, it is another to allow your body to re-experience the stress/pain of it and remain present in this moment so that you can understand and integrate the old pain in a way that makes you stronger and most importantly, done with it.

When I was a very little girl my world was rocked, destroyed, made terrifying by my parents drug addiction, alcohol abuse and the physical and emotional abuse and neglect that came with.  It was a very effective strategy to focus on moving forward in life and seeking safety and security, while not acknowledging the terror that I really felt.  Ever.  Never, even as a small child, allowing myself to curl into a corner and rock the sobs.  So, to this day, all those moments, never dealt with, only survived, continue to live on inside me, hidden from view like ghosts in an every repeating cycle.

Naturally, I avoid these moments of reliving and having to understand and extract.  It's like walking into a haunted house, or even more like opening up the door to the haunted house and knowing that what's inside will come out that door, given the chance.  It takes bravery, whether your trauma is child abuse, a traumatic marriage, a death, or even a small moment of shame when you're debit card was declined unexpectedly.  Each of these things is stored until we are willing to transmute it with our understanding and acceptance.  For many, this cleansing may be more important than the physical cleansing in regards to disease like Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue.

Onward, Rebels! We ARE strong enough.

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